The Week After Preliminaries

Words by: herliterary

It’s the week after preliminaries,

And you know what that means, don’t you?

Has your heart started pounding loudly?

Has your brain started overthinking?

Has your worth started quivering?

What part of you will shatter this time, mirrorball?

It’s the week after preliminaries.

There’s a trial in your head,

Should you conclude the worst-case scenario?

Or should you exude apathy and pretension?

Who do you choose to be this time, mirrorball?

It’s the week after preliminaries.

You recall the number of asterisks in the test questionnaire,

Was it twenty or thirty?

Either way, it still invalidates your academic competence.

How’s it going enduring the big fish, small pond syndrome?

How’s it going not seeing continuous 1-point-somethings in your grade report?

How long can you stand on your tiptoes, mirrorball?

It’s the week after preliminaries.

An unfamiliar shadow, like an onyx, creeps after you finally see your scores.

Are you sure this is really you? Or have you been an imposter all along?

I wonder how you’ll spin that literary piece you’ll write on your phone.

Where’s the inspo this time? Taylor Swift’s “Nothing New” or “Teenage Dream” by Olivia Rodrigo?

What part of you will you change this time, mirrorball?

It’s the week after preliminaries.

You’re probably wondering how you’re supposed to be comfortable with failure.

Wondering, how do I recover from burnout?

How do I stop aiming for perfection?

But, how can you stop if this has been your entire world’s worth?

What more can you do to keep their attention, mirrorball?

It’s the week after preliminaries.

I have shattered edges glistening from efforts not enough.

Will I ever become a diamond if all I am is a mirrorball?